On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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