yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
