I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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