i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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