you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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