how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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