that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
