Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
