you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
