Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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