Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
