My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
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lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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