I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
