Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
