Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
