I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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