Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize