Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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