I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
