Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
