His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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