i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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