Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my sisters under your porch take her home
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
