you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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