So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
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Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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