i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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