We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
