proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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