The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
