He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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