On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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