im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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