wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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