just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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