Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
