We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm always down for nudity.
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