You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize