Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
