i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize