Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
