Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
