awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
