Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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