piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
