I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
