All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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