Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
