Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ambien. No doubt about it.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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