Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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