I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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