i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
