Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
