If i come over, it means nothing
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
