carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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