I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize