We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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