He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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