i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
