so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
