I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
