my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
